


Sex, Guys & Limericks

by ladyflame_uk



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-09
Packaged: 2018-02-24 17:27:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2589974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyflame_uk/pseuds/ladyflame_uk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A set of 3 slashy Spander limericks, followed by more Limericks... this time Wesley/Angel, Spike/Angel, and a none slash one for The Master. (Why? I have no idea... my mind works in strange ways sometimes!!)</p>
<p>Drabble - Poetry Emotion (poetry-in-motion) - Red Hot Words & Pictures</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **WARNINGS:** Slashy Limericks!!  
>  **FIRST PUBLISHED:** 19 April 2005  
>  **ARCHIVED:[](http://redhotwords.livejournal.com/profile)[ **redhotwords**](http://redhotwords.livejournal.com/) , [AdultFanFiction](http://adultfan.nexcess.net/aff/story.php?no=544183420), [y!Gallery](http://yaoi.y-gallery.net/view/17939/), [SkyeHawke](http://archive.skyehawke.com/story.php?no=7966), & [NummyTreats](http://nummytreats.forsaken-faith.org/archive/viewstory.php?sid=976)**  
>  **CROSS POSTED:** [](http://bandofbuggered.livejournal.com/profile)[**bandofbuggered**](http://bandofbuggered.livejournal.com/) , [](http://bloodclaim.livejournal.com/profile)[**bloodclaim**](http://bloodclaim.livejournal.com/) , & [](http://sxandviolence.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://sxandviolence.livejournal.com/)**sxandviolence**
> 
> I was reading Chapter 90 of 'Night of Nights' by Sajinn, when I was inspired to write a couple of limericks of all things. First time I've ever attempted to write a limerick, so I apologise if they suck *snickers* (pun intended).

**There once was a vampire called Spike,**  
 **With whom I really liked to fight.**  
 **But making up after,**  
 **I'd have to be dafter,**  
 **To say 'No' to fucking all night!!**

# # # # # # # # # # @ # # # # # # # # # #

**There once was a mortal called Xander,**  
 **To who's needs Spike did like to pander.**  
 **With a lick, and a slick,**  
 **He took his whole dick,**  
 **Now that's a sight worth a gander!!**

Neither of the two limericks above were my very first attempt, that would be the limerick below, which I'm adding as a little something extra...

**There once was a vampire named Spike,**  
 **Who said he wanted my head on a pike.**  
 **But then came the chip,**  
 **And now if he wants to squick,**  
 **He says he wants to fuck me all night!!**


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn't until I was typing this, that I realised that unless you are a Brit of a certain age, you probably won't get this, so for those who don't know who Rick Astley is, he was a British 80's easy listening ballad singer with red hair, same music different decades... and bugger me if Wesley isn't almost impossible to rhyme to!! :sweatdrop:

**There once was a human called Wesley,**  
 **Who really liked the songs of Elvis Presley.**  
 **But Angel prefers Manilow,**  
 **And Wesley said "That's got to go..."**  
 **"I'd rather be fucked to Rick Astley!!"**

Now this next one is my favourite of the three...

**There once was a souled vamp named Angel,**  
 **Who Spike nicknamed 'Pain Gel'.**  
 **For he always did brood,**  
 **And get in a bad mood,**  
 **If you put luminous paint in his hairgel!!**

Okay, so this is the last of this set of 3 limericks, a bit of a weird one for 'The Master'...

**There was an old vamp named 'The Master',**  
 **Who should have got a better forecaster.**  
 **When he got trapped, then impaled,**  
 **He'd have been better off staying jailed,**  
 **Cause that's not something you can fix with a plaster!!**


End file.
